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Vampires are among us.

November 23, 2009

The world has been struck with Vampire fever.  I feel like I woke up one morning and everyone had been bitten by vampires.  Everything from the Twilight books, to the Twilight movies, to True Blood to the Vampire diaries.  Media has been taken over by these ghouls.  I thought Halloween was a couple weeks ago.

I am going on this tirade in the wake of the recent “New Moon” release, the second of four in the Twilight series.

I read a lot of blogs, some trashy (Perez), some with more depth (Drudge, Mashable).  However, I could not escape the Twilight mania.  I find myself wondering, are Kristen and Robert dating in real life????  Taylor and Taylor, what could be cuter.  All the chatter is ignoring a few things, though:

1. The movie sucks.

2. This is the worst of the four books, and the books aren’t good to start with (yes, I have read the series).

3. Twilight vampires aren’t real vampires!!!

1.  I have not seen the Twilight movies.  I have friends who pre-ordered their midnight tickets to the New Moon opening.  I heard that Glamour magazine will actually ask prospective employees if they have seen the movie, and if they haven’t, they cannot be considered for the job (for the sake of journalism and humanity, let’s hope that’s just a sick rumor).  I just don’t care to waste my time or money on a brooding love story.  Every clip I have seen has been poor.

2. I read the entire series in about a week at the end of the summer.  I had heard they were good and my sister had already purchased them for her own reading pleasure, so I sat down and didn’t get up for a week, until there wasn’t anything left to read.  The books were utterly worthless, however I could not tear myself away.  The romance was hackneyed and unrealistic, the plot was predictable (until the fourth book, OMG) and tedious.  However, the characters drew me in.  They kind of become your soulless friends.  I suppose that is the goal of literature…

3.  While reading the Twilight series and I was watching True Blood.  I found True Blood much more compelling and sophisticated and binged on the first two seasons in an inordinately short amount of time.  Interestingly, the vampires do not have the same defining characteristics.  True Blood vampires cannot go outside during the day, while Twilight ones can, for instance.  I found the discrepancies between the two descriptions of the mythical  creations disheartening (come on, shouldn’t there be a vampire conference for the definitive answer).   True Blood’s is quite certainly the more accurate.

What was even scarier than having opinions about the authenticity of the vampire descriptions was that I started seeing vampires waking among us.  Those who were pale, with dark features, perhaps a little too thin screamed vampire to me.  But, I wasn’t afraid, I just wanted to ask them if they could go into the sun or not.

 

Update 11/28: Due to the vampire trend, sales of pale foundation have risen 200% in the past month.  I am a bit skeptical, however.  It wouldn’t have anything to do with winter, would it?

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Aabid Khan permalink
    November 23, 2009 2:12 pm

    I dunno wether they realy exist or no, bt had given a chance to bcome a vampire, smthing like edward in the book twilight n not the muvee i wud jump the opportunity……(Edward in the muvee cud def. do a better job)

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